But, ever since we met our dear birthmother we have felt a range of emotions. Lately the emotions have been a strong sense of PEACE. God has always had this situation under HIS control and everytime I tried to stress or have a negative thought, I was reminded of God's PROMISES to never leave or forsake us. He has been there all along through everything Gary and I have been through. From a move to Georgia without jobs, friends or family to our years of infertility and treatments and now to our adoption. He has brought us through it all. Were there times we wanted to give up and give in-- YES MANY. Did we know why we were going through what we were going through? No. We just had to keep reminding ourselves that His plan was at work and we were to follow. Every time I wanted to cry out to God that our lot wasn't fair or question why He was allowing us to go childless, I was reminded of His promises in the Bible. I was also reminded constantly through songs and pastors' messages that it wasn't the amount of faith, but that we had faith at all.
Lamentations 3:22-24 KJV says
22 It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
24 The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore I hope in Him.
20 He replied, "Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, "Move from here to there," and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
I also claimed the story of Hannah as my own. I had several verses and notes stuck to my mirror in our bathroom so I was daily reminded that God gave Hannah the desires of her heart after she cried out to Him in the temple. He heard her cries and gave her a son which she then gave back to Him to work in the temple. This took a lot for me to do and to overcome my pride.
I Samuel 1 "In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly."
Later, Hannah became pregnant and bore a son. I wept bitterly many times to the Lord. But, Gary and I knew that God had not taken the desire to have a child away from us and we were not going to give up.
So much has changed in our lives over the last year because we decided to follow God's plan for us to adopt. Gary was able to change jobs which helped us meet many new and wonderful friends. This job change also helped with my nervousness about my quitting my job as a teacher. Through this new job, Gary and I met friends who invited us to the their church. We had visited many churches trying to find a home.
God laid it on my heart that since He was giving us a son, we needed to ensure that he was raised in a Christian environment. Our new church- Greater Heights Baptist Church-- has provided us a place to belong, friends who love us already and a great support system for our coming son. This is a wonderful church full of children and families following the Lord. When I go on Sunday and see teenage boys praying at the alter alone and with their fathers, I feel such a joy and I picture Gary and our son following in their footsteps.
We are so blessed!!! All of the heartache and pain in the journey has been so worth it just to know that we are in God's grace and favor.
Of course, their will still be trials in our life. But, the trials we have faced already have prepared us more to face what may be coming. Right now, though, we are just overjoyed that we will be welcoming our son, Declan Ren Joseph Cheung into our home in December.
Declan (Irish after St. Declan) means Bringer of Goodness
Ren from his birthmother
Joseph from the Bible meaning God will Increase
Hopefully, I will have time later after he comes home to update on more of the details of this process.